the poly situation: update

for want of any other place to put this, I offer up a status update post health crisis. I realize this has nothing to do with things literary. I told you I was a rule breaker.

my body is healing well. my scars are still pinkish, stomach still somewhat swollen but for the most part I am strong & vibrant again, & able to be bounced around playfully on a bed or other apt surfaces.

but since my health crisis, I have gone from being poly in practice to poly in spirit only. my eye still roves to the beautiful men in the cafes & those sexy visiting & resident poets, but when it comes to physical encounters, I haven't been involved with lovers outside my marriage since my health crisis.

I am not entirely sure of why, but I have a few thoughts:

1. priorities

in the hospital I came so close to death & I felt very frightened & alone in my delusions, once I was back at home with Charles again after almost a month of being apart, all I wanted to do was be with him. [I am just now starting to go out again on my own in the evenings by going to a weekly pottery class.]

2. body image

I am happy with my body. I still think I am beautiful. I love my curves & sexy legs & bum etc. I am proud of those scars, but, but… I am shy about how others will perceive my body. I don't want to reveal my naked self to a man only for him to be repulsed by this pink & swollen flesh with its scars and stomach wound. I am too vulnerable for that.

3. risk

after the health crisis, I don't want to take any chances of rejection, of trauma or complication. I want things to be smooth & turbulent free.

4. age

strange for me to say, but at 48, I don't feel that men notice me. I have pretty much always had to take the initiative anyway [pretty intimidating to put the moves on a married woman] & now I simply don't & they don't see me. my libido is as strong as ever, if not stronger, but I am not as brave, not as confident.

In summary

the men in my life have been wonderful, starting with Charles of course (& I don't take his passion & love for granted, believe me, I adore him & our time in bed), & dear friends who have been lovers as well seem to be fine with the intimacy taking the form of conversations in cafes & pubs. some men have disappeared, but that's the nature of life. we get busy, immersed in our lives.

but yes, my eye roves. so many sexy men out there. there are moments when I am at a reading or a café when I just want to take one (or several) of them by the hand & lead him (them) straight to bed. I still think it's silly how much drama & analysis is associated with sex. I don't see why two (or more) people can't just express their lust for one another & go to it. but I guess for now at least, I won't be expressing such in the form of my usual solicitous & licentious e-mails or come hither looks.

a very sexy writer recently told me that he appreciated how open I was about my polyamoury. hearing that my openness was a help to others inspired me to write this post, even though it's a bit of a touchy subject (oh dear, a pun).

perhaps there are others out there who have gone thru major health crises or surgeries & are having similar thoughts or experiences. if so, let me know. i'd love to hear about how you're doing.

for me, being in an open relationship means embracing fluidity & change. the health crisis taught me to appreciate the moment I am in. & I do. I also appreciate having dear friends of all genders. life is good.

Help this man make music

Today is Glenn Nuotio's 40th birthday. He is one of Ottawa's talented creatives. he is a piano player, song writer & peformer from Newfoundland who we are lucky to have in Ottawa for the last few years. He writes songs with intelligent, playful & witty lyrics. Glenn Nuotio is a wee bit of Montparnasse or Berlin of the 20s/30s reborn.

His EP made a few years ago is beautiful. Go listen to Crazy in Biloxi & other songs.

& then, donate a few dollars to his campaign here.

here are a few words on the project from Glenn:

"This February, I turn 40 . Rather than sit and think of 40 as the "Old Age of Youth" as Victor Hugo wrote, I'm glad to have a great music community around me, a wide circle of friends and a lot of love in my life. I'm going to use this year to make my so far elusive debut album. I've performed in Canada for many years now, including events like Ottawa Bluesfest, Halifax Pride, The Ottawa International Writers Festival, WestFest, and the Magnetic North Theatre Festival, but this year in Ottawa , I've found the best possible creative team I can think of and I realize it's time. My new project, a full debut album will be an incredible project involving some of the best musicians and engineers in Canada."

happy birthday, Glenn Nuotio. thanks for coming to Ottawa & helping to make our city a lively & creative place to live.

My VERSeFest Picks : Feb 28-March 4, 2012

If you are a poetry enthusiast in Ottawa or simply an explorer with an urge for the exquisite & the new, I highly recommend you go to VERSeFest. the 2nd annual poetry festival takes place from February 28 to March 4, 2012 & features a variety of poetic styles. Here are the poets I'm particularly looking forward to, either because I've read their work & have never or rarely heard them read in person, or because I have heard them read before & am a huge fan, or because they are unknown to me & I want to know more. Check the full schedule at VERSeFest.ca & buy your passes & tickets. From edgy language play to classic narrative confessional to lyric beauty to humour to cathartic battle cries, you will find it all at VERSeFest…

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28

Suzanne Buffam: rarely has read here in my time. My copy of Past Imperfect (Anansi, 2005) has numerous dog-eared pages.

Paul Tyler: haven't heard Paul read since a reading at Plan 99 a number of years ago, if my recollections are correct.

Dennis Lee : a wordsmith extraordinaire whose neologisms & linguistic acrobatics blend with ecosensitivity in a most gratifying way. & after all the man did create Alligator Pie. You can take away my rainbow take way my sky, but don't take away my…

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 29

sadly I will likely miss Christian McPherson whose humourous slices of life are wonderful. i will also miss Gregory Scofield & Helen Humphreys due to another engagement, but I have heard them both read before & enjoyed their work immensely. I know Helen more for her fiction, but once long ago heard her read poetry at a Tree event. what I remember was that she mesmerized. I have heard Gregory read at the Indigenous Erotica event at the Writers Festival many years ago & have enjoyed his book Singing Home the Bones.

THURSDAY, MARCH 1
Roo Borson-i have never heard her read before. I have a copy of Short Journey Upriver Toward Oishida (McLelland&Stewart, 2004), which i am opening now for the first time.

Fred Wah-a rare pleasure to meet & hear Fred Wah. although now that he is the Parliamentary Poet Laureat perhaps he will be reading here more often.

FRIDAY, MARCH 2

Pearl Pirie: I still haven't heard Pearl read from her new Snare Books collection, Thirsts. I am intrigued by Pearl's writing because it is unique, but also has a way of getting to the heart of universal concerns, such as the connection between humans we are all searching for. Pearl isn't a smarmy sentimentalist, but a skilled technician with heart.

SATURDAY, MARCH 3

Tim Bowling: I have never heard him read & am just now cracking open The Thin Smoke of the Heart (McGill-Queen's University Press, 2000) but i am enchanted already by the title & by the blurb which talks about beauty in the rough.

Shane Rhodes: always a pleasure to hear Shane read. his last book Err (Nightwood Editions, 2011) was great fun, & if it wasn't on my best of 2011 list, it should have been.

Tim Lilburn: I have never heard Tim read in person. I have read & been provoked deliciously by some of his essays, & somewhere in my apartment is his collection Kill-Site.
Rae Armantrout: It's not often that American poets come to Ottawa. I haven't read barely a scrap of writing from her, so I'm interested to listen & perhaps buy her books. I am hoping the festival has an excellent & full bookstore on hand with titles from all the readers. I keep seeing her poetry described as "chilling," which is one of the oddest epithets I've heard used for poetry. I shall bring a sweater.

SUNDAY, MARCH 4
Paige Ackerson-Kiely: I loved her above/ground press chapbook, "Book About a Candle Burning in a Shed," intriguing chunks of spell-binding prose: "Her name starts our real low and rises to an ee…" I wouldn't have heard of Paige if it hadn't been for rob mclennan who thru his workshops & reviews has introduced me to exemplary poets throughout the years.

Barry McKinnon: another poet whose work I first read thanks to rob mclennan. I enjoyed The Centre: Poems 1970-2000 (TalonBooks, 2004): "I long to talk with you. walk across town/wih a bottle of whisky, and not to stop." There's something straight-forward about his writing, humble, matter-of-fact, but/and beautiful. I love the Sex at 38 series in The Centre & have read snippets of Sex at 31. I also have a wee book entitled Stamp Collection from blewointmentpress, 1970, which I am hoping to have signed.

Note that the Ackerson-Kiely/McKinnon event is free. yes, FREE! what better way to spend an afternoon. go to the Mercury Lounge, have a few beers & listen.

Phil Hall, Philip Levine, Pura López-Colomé as part of the evening's Summit Reading. I always love hearing Phil Hall read. am so glad he'll be part of this. I admit to having never heard of either of the other two. so many poets, so little time. this is a great opportunity to extend my horizons.

Of course there are lots of other readings to take in & I will pack as much of the festival in as I can, & I suggest you do the same.

RANT: Centretown Doctor Shortage

Since my doctor retired in December, 2010, I have been trying to get a new family doctor. I signed up with Ontario Health Care Connect, but after a few months of waiting, when I called my care connector, I was told that Centretown had a gap & my best bet was to ask my friends & keep an eye out for doctors taking patients. If I lived in Barrhaven or Bell's Corners I could get a doctor more easily because new clinics had recently opened up. If my health was poor or urgent, I had more of a chance of getting a doctor also. But thanks to some great urgent care when I was deathly ill in 2009, I am hale & hearty for which I am grateful.

I am not the only one who has had trouble getting a family doctor in Centretown. One friend and her family drive to Barrhaven for medical treatment. Another has bounced around from clinic to clinic.

Local community health care centres which support residents in my area are not accepting new patients. Their waiting lists aren't even open. I have been advised by one to try again in the autumn, & another to call back every month or so.

And it would seem that the problem is also nation-wide. Friends from Edmonton, Alberta & other Canadian cities have told me that they too don't have family doctors.

The answer then is to go to walk-in clinics. My experience with those has been horrendous, & they aren't really a good idea for regular checkups. One doctor at a local clinic suggested that the answer to my chronic sinus pain was not to blow my nose. Another didn't diagnose lung issues properly in 2005, leading to serious respirator ailments. Staff don't know your history well & it's a bit of a factory with quick solutions to get you out the door.

As a woman in my late 40s in particular, I am very concerned with not getting the regular checkups I require, such as pap smears & soon breast examinations. I made a joke that I guess the provincial government wants us all to end up in the Emergency Room, but the fact is, if they don't concentrate on preventative care, that's what will happen.

Is this also a problem for the local government? I believe it is. With more and more new housing being built in downtown Ottawa, you have to also provide services to the residents. We don't need another condo, we need more medical staff & clinics.

A friend gave me links to a rate the doctor site & another site where you can search for particular doctors. So the answer is to go thru the entire list & question each doctor's office. Try to investigate their professional reputations. This seems ridiculous & not effective.

We have a serious problem, Ottawa & Ontario & Canada. What are we going to do about it?

A Short Guide to Writing Bios for Publications

BASICS

1. Write in the third person.
2. Keep it short.
3. Ensure that the publication title is accurate.
4. Follow the specific publication's guidelines about biographies.
5. If you are submitting to a publication that has published your work, include the credit in your bio.

DETAIL

1. Remember that these bios are being assembled into a publication to be read by someone. If all the bios were in first person it would make no sense. If some were in first and some were in third it would be jumpy and inconsistent. Yes, the editors can do the translation into third themselves, but that's additional labour that can slow down the publication process. They don't have to do that just for you but for the thousand or so poems they receive a year (using Bywords.ca as an example).

2. The temptation is to list everything or send the publication a CV. Don't do it. Send a few lines about your latest publications & a highlight, such as an award & add a site or blog that includes your credits in full. If you don't have any publication credits, you can include your location, perhaps a writing workshop that you have taken or a series where you've read, for example open mics.

3. If you aren't sure, go to the publication's web site or pick up the journal. With web sites, it can be tricky. For Bywords, cite Bywords.ca for our online magazine & the Bywords Quarterly Journal for our print magazine. For AngelHousePress, note it is one word. For our online publications: Experiment-o.com, NationalPoetryMonth.ca.

4. This seems obvious, but many people don't bother to read the guidelines. This makes work for those having to enter the info & could slow down the process.

5. I suppose this isn't essential, but if I've published someone, I expect them to acknowledge it.

DISCLAIMER

These guidelines based on my own experiences as a small press publisher. If you are in doubt about how to write a bio or what to include, it's best to take a look at the bios in the publication itself & to read the guidelines. If you have questions, you can always query the publication directly, but make sure you've read those guidelines first, folks. & the rules change when submitting grant applications. Often organizations such as the Canada Council for the Arts have very specific requirements for biographies & C.V's. The more you can adhere to these, the better your chances will be of acceptance. If you're a rebel &you don't like to follow any rules, don't apply, don't submit, start your own press & do what you like.

TO BIO OR NOT TO BIO

Some people don't understand the point of biographies at all. They think the work should stand up for itself. Ok. Fair enough. Except that the information from a bio can be helpful in many ways. I've discovered other journals to submit to via bios. Personally I like to learn about a person's background. It doesn't affect my reading of their work, it just adds a human element of connection.

above/ground press broadsheet #309 by me

is now also on line on the above/ground press blog. it's an homage to the poetry of Phil Hall. thanks to rob mclennan for publishing my poem...

[photo by Charles Earl]

Spring Poetry Releases continued

The Smooth Yarrow - Susan Glickman, Vehicule Press

Wolsak and Winn Publishers:

We, Beasts - Oana Avasilichioaei

Floating Life - Moez Surani

& a new edition of John Terpstra's Naked Trees illustrated with the stunning woodcuts of Wesley Bates.

plus a scoop on their upcoming W&W fall poetry titles:
Einstein's Cat by Zoë Landale
and Jeanette Lynes' new collection, which is tentatively titled "Archive of the Undressed."

Coteau Books

Anne Szumigalski- A Woman Clothed in Words (fiction, playscripts, essays & poetry)

Poetry (& more!) for the End of the World

Arts Court, 2 Daly Ave, 7pm – late: cover $8 DOORS OPEN AT 6:30pm

this is a jam packed event, folks & it's a fund raiser for the delicious VERSeFest, a week-long extravaganza of poetry that takes place from February 28 to March 4, 2012.

at some point you will find me at the mic doing a few apocalyptic riffs. i love the lypse. that is to say it provokes & inspires...

Sweet resonant voice. Cello, Guitar. Bass. possibly mandolin. Apocalyptic Poetry. Weather Balloon. VERSeFest tees. O'Meara, Matthews, Douglas, de Pape. libations. incrEdibles, electro geetar. irreverent absurd comedic lyrics. we have to pack all this in before the world ends…

you can take a gander at the event line up on the V-fest site.

I leave you with my Singing the Apocalypse play list.

"One day you're waiting for the sky to fall/and then you're dazzled by the beauty of it all." (Thank you, Bruce Cockburn)

Air Out/In Air: Poets for the Guatemalan Stove Project

Thursday, January 19, 2012-7pm; Collected Works Bookstore & Coffeeshop, 1242 Wellington W.

i shall be reading along with Allison Armstrong, Mike Montreuil, rob mclennan & Luminita Suse.

Dear Ottawans, i hope to see you.