As regulations regarding the shutdown and gatherings ease, my anxiety has increased to the point where I left the apartment only once last week on Monday to go to my doctor’s office.
I think what is causing the anxiety is that Ottawa Public Health has been adamant about the need to stay at home (as much as you can) and practice physical distancing of at least 6 feet apart with anyone but those in your household, and now this has changed very quickly.
While OPH, provincial and national health authorities are still saying that these measures are necessary, they are clearly under pressure by governments to allow for loosening of restrictions in order to bolster capitalism. This sudden message change seems to have no medical validity. Regions where quarantine restrictions were lifted are seeing spikes in the number of cases and deaths from Covid-19.
Even the decision about getting out of the house and walking alone on a weekday seems to fill me with anxiety now. Do I have to wear a mask all the time whenever I’m outside as some people suggest? Or do I believe OPH and just wear it when I can’t be sure I can physically distance properly? I can wear a mask for short visits to public places but I can’t wear it for a long walk because it makes me more anxious and that’s defeating the purpose of the walk. So this means I just stay home most of the time. I get a little air on the balcony. I try to focus on other things.
I’m writing this because I am concerned for others who are feeling a similar sense of anxiety and cognitive dissonance over this. This doesn’t make sense. And I don’t see any sense happening any time soon. To those of you who can’t understand what the issue is and are somehow managing to live life without anxiety, I don’t relate to you, but I hope you can feel empathy for those of us who are troubled by these times, and please don’t offer advice. It is not welcome at this time. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m doing the best I can.