amongst books

amongst books

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Coping: living in the now and counting my blessings

 I don’t know if this is helpful to others or just frustrating to read, but the way Charles and I cope with this time is to treat it as if it is how things are, to live in the now. We don’t plan for “after the pandemic” or “after the lockdown.” We try to find joy somehow in life as it is. And we have a lot of reasons to be joyful. We adapt to the changes we have had to make: wearing masks when we’re out, and Charles wearing masks on transit and at the office. We have some colourful and silly masks. We order most of our food via online services. I rarely go to any public spaces.

 We are also quite fortunate and don’t want to take that privilege for granted. For those with loved ones in long term care or those with children there are some incredibly difficult worries and experiences, not to mention those who have Covid-19 or who have close loved ones with the virus, and those with job issues, economic, housing and food insecurities.

 I worry about all those dealing with the pandemic and its consequences and that is always in my mind and heart, but the best way for me to not get overwhelmed is just to live in the now and adapt to the times as they are.

 I have vague hopes of doing a bit of touring in a few years to go to readings and celebrate my 60th, all being well, but these are not set in stone and they are not essential to my inner peace and happiness.

 I have a darling husband. I have food, shelter, financial security (for now) and health (for now).  I have many books to read, markers to doodle with, friends to keep in touch with and an imagination that keeps me occupied. I have a comfortable bed, an apartment I love and even fitness via Zoom with a great instructor and in a great community via the Carleton University’s Senior Ravens program when I choose to attend.

 I do look forward to a day when I can sit in a café and enjoy a chai latte and the conversation of those around me. I look forward to jumping around in the pool in my building again, taking aquafit at Carleton again and spending time in person with dear friends. All those experiences will be all the richer then. But I don’t pine for them. I just want to get through this time as sanely and safely as possible.

 I am grateful for the creative gifts so many artists, musicians, and writers have made to make it possible for me to feel joy. To all of you, I wish you a happy solstice and a joyous holiday season. 

2 comments:

futureboy314 said...

Well, this was a real treat to read. You don't know me, but my roommate owns a copy of your 'firstwalks of the year', which I have read and admired many times.
I completely agree that we should live in the now because that's all we ever have, but their is something... poetic (would you say?) about inclining ourselves toward better days like a sunflower to the light. From time to time. Like checking a compass every now and again, to make sure we're still on track for that bright horizon.
Merry Everything to you and Yours, and thank you for your words and craft.

Amanda Earl said...

thanks! just seeing this comment now for some reason.