I don’t know if this is helpful to others or just
frustrating to read, but the way Charles and I cope with this time is to treat
it as if it is how things are, to live in the now. We don’t plan for “after the
pandemic” or “after the lockdown.” We try to find joy somehow in life as it is.
And we have a lot of reasons to be joyful. We adapt to the changes we have had
to make: wearing masks when we’re out, and Charles wearing masks on transit and
at the office. We have some colourful and silly masks. We order most of our
food via online services. I rarely go to any public spaces.
We are also quite fortunate and don’t want to take that
privilege for granted. For those with loved ones in long term care or those
with children there are some incredibly difficult worries and experiences, not to
mention those who have Covid-19 or who have close loved ones with the virus,
and those with job issues, economic, housing and food insecurities.
I worry about all those dealing with the pandemic and its
consequences and that is always in my mind and heart, but the best way for me
to not get overwhelmed is just to live in the now and adapt to the times as
they are.
I have vague hopes of doing a bit of touring in a few
years to go to readings and celebrate my 60th, all being well, but
these are not set in stone and they are not essential to my inner peace and
happiness.
I have a darling husband. I have food, shelter, financial
security (for now) and health (for now). I have many books to read, markers to doodle with,
friends to keep in touch with and an imagination that keeps me occupied. I have
a comfortable bed, an apartment I love and even fitness via Zoom with a great
instructor and in a great community via the Carleton University’s Senior Ravens
program when I choose to attend.
I do look forward to a day when I can sit in a café and
enjoy a chai latte and the conversation of those around me. I look forward to jumping
around in the pool in my building again, taking aquafit at Carleton again and
spending time in person with dear friends. All those experiences will be all
the richer then. But I don’t pine for them. I just want to get through this
time as sanely and safely as possible.
I am grateful for the
creative gifts so many artists, musicians, and writers have made to make it possible for me
to feel joy. To all of you, I wish you a happy solstice and a joyous holiday season.
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